How do we define our self worth? We may define it by skills we have gained. We may define it by what we have done. We may define it by how we are perceived. But none of these are our real self worth. Our self worth is not tangible, at its core is not dependant on other factors. It is simply our universal worth, it is what we think and feel about ourselves.
Our self-worth belongs to our compassion towards ourselves. It is what we already have within us. It cannot be taken away from us, nor can it be given to us. Our self worth is us, ourselves and our understanding that comes as part of this self-worth. How do we cultivate our self-worth? How do we believe in our self-worth? I think there is an algorithm for this, it is by being empathetic towards ourselves and others. This provides us with the necessary tools to be self empathetic and self reliant. It is by being interested in our doing and being comfortable with ourselves. It is by being authentic, even in difficult times. There maybe situations where we are not sure about our responses and finding our authentic self. In these circumstances we need to find relevance and importance in giving ourself tools to voice our authenticity. Part of our authenticity maybe doing something we find difficult to comprehend, we may find ourself justifying a lie or a mistake – This makes authenticity an ongoing process. It is by being authentic in what we do, how we do it and owning it that we learn more about our genuine self.
Now what is being authentic? Being authentic is believing in our genuine self with all its strengths and all its short comes. This is our self worth, our self worth is an amalgamation of empathy, non judgement and compassion towards ourselves and also towards others – It is by maintaining a positive self image and world image that we can carry on being authentic. Authenticity is an ongoing learning opportunity. This can be done by not only enjoying the life journey with all its problems and glories but along the way to build on relation with ourselves and others, work on ourselves and in some shape or form be responsible for our actions.
Our self-worth is us in the middle effecting ourselves and others in ways unimaginable. That is why we matter and that is why we are important – It is our unique self. This unique self is worth fighting for. Self-worth is a concept that impacts our well-being. It contributes to better relationship, work, health and better overall mental and emotional well-being. Our self-worth is dependent on our self evaluation and what we count as valuable in our activities. Self-worth comes from within and therefore we need to value ourselves and our time. This is an internal sense of worthy love and acceptance. Therefore with having positive self-worth we don’t judge ourselves harshly.
We need to know that our thoughts, feelings and our interactions with others impact our self-worth and contribute to our self perception. Therefore we need to choose our environment and our activities carefully. This helps us to better reflect on ourselves and our life. We need to focus on things we are good at, exercise and challenge our negative thoughts. This is because research shows that by being active and challenging our negativity we will build resistance and can handle stress factors better in our life. Also when we need help we need to seek for help to improve ourselves and seek support. This helps with having love, respect and value for ourselves and therefore for others too.
Getting to know ourselves is an important factor in improving our health. This helps with our self identity and our self esteem. By knowing ourselves better we help improve our self worth and do what we enjoy, which feeds in finding our place in the world. Another important factor is setting boundaries, we need to listen to others and then expressing what we want to ourselves and others is an important factor. We need to learn and know what we want and how want to achieve it, this is where desires of others ends and ours begins. This will help with our personal growth and building our ideal self.
Lastly we all have past trauma and limitations in our life, we need to try to heal these in order to move forward in life. This is because they contribute to the way we see ourselves. Therefore addressing them help us have a stronger sense of self. Working through past trauma can benefit us to work through unexpressed emotions, thoughts and feelings and therefore build healthy habits. This will help in re-establishing a sense of safety and coping mechanisms. Therefore by having right strategies and resources we should be able to build stronger sense of self.
By maintaining healthy self-worth we will meet our needs, we will solve our problems more confidently, be more decisive and maintain a more healthy relationship. These result in the person knowing that there needs to be a realistic expectation when it comes to setting limitations. We will not be able to do everything and therefore we need to be aware that we are worthy of respect regardless of a particular outcome and mistakes can happen in every stage of our life.
We need to take compliment and know that we are worthy of self acceptance and avoiding self criticism. This is because the fact that we are trying shows our commitment and not how well the outcome is. There is a difference in identifying areas for self improvement and self criticising. By self improvement we see what can be done better and by self criticising we see ourselves poorly. Therefore we need to find good in ourselves and look after ourselves with care – This is done by labelling our behaviour and not ourselves. Something like I think this behaviour is limiting and doesn’t reflect on my core values therefore I replace it with another behaviour. This is not change the fact that I am worthy of self compassion and self respect. We can then control, manage and maintain our self-worth and our wellbeing.